Sometimes when I come home to my apartment, and my boyfriend's not home, I get freaked out that some creepy stranger is lying in wait for me. There are any number of sneaky nooks a bad guy could camp out in, but invariably it's the bathtub that pushes me over the edge, and I have to pull back the curtain and check. It's irrational, yes, but there's just all that space in there. And everybody knows baddies hide behind curtains. But I wondered tonight what I would actually do if I poked my head around the curtain and there was a large stranger standing in my tub. The answer? Instantaneously stop living. Dead. The big graduate school in the sky.
So, maybe it would be slightly better, even if there was a creepy dude in my shower, to ignore him and hope he decides to leave?
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...coming unstuck in graduate school.
Friends in the academy and beyond
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6 comments:
The big graduate school in the sky? Dear God, that can't be true! Not even Satan would be that cruel.
As for your fears, you do realize that now A. is going to start hiding in your bathtub and jumping out at you. Don't worry, he's got ways of getting in.
You took the words right out of my mouth, Dubs. It's like that one awesome song that goes "A little bit of heaven and a little bit of hell blah blah blah no hope no love no glory, no happy ending etc."
OK, it's nothing like that. Hey, you know a good locksmith who doesn't dwell too much on "personal ethics?"
I suppose grad school is a kind of hell whether you're alive or dead, isn't it? Isn't there a looser version of the belief in heaven and hell that reads them as just being an after-life continuation of your earthly relationship with God? In other words, if you die an atheist, your afterlife won't be all brimstoney, persay, just far away from God. Which is supposed to suck, I guess. If you're an atheist, then you obviously don't believe any of the preceding anyway.
But if any of that were true, and if I were to die whilst in grad school, I suppose I'd have an eternally grad-school-defined relationship with God, and right now grad school is not leaving me so persuaded that I'm being looked out for.
Also... stay out of my shower, you bastard.
Oh, and I think that locksmith is "Eric."
Then where am I supposed to sit and drink my beer that I don't drink and contemplate my navel if not in your shower? I hear it's a good thinkin' shower.
Partially see-through shower curtains. I do that worrying in the other direction - not when I get home and am alone, but when I'm home alone and get in the shower, I worry that the person who comes in will be a large stranger, and in my shower-deafened state, I'll not notice until it's too late. TOOO LAAAATE.
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