This is a tri-fold problem for the general public. First are the people who walk up to the elevators where you're waiting, look at you for a second, and then reach out and push the button that's already lit up. There seems to be some bizarre human elevator-related anxiety. If I don't push the button myself, how can I be sure that it's going to come?? The light could be stuck in the "on" position! This person waiting could be stoned or retarded or in a waking coma! How could I live with myself if I didn't take every possible precaution against being skipped by one or possibly more elevator cars?! Basically what I'm saying is don't be a douche.
Secondly, you get on in the order you arrived. This is a special problem in the HCW elevator lobby. Yes, it's a tiny portico, and people aren't very good about moving all the way in. And yes, the elevators don't come very frequently, so people tend to stack up waiting. I do understand why you need to come inside and why it's impossible to form a line for the elevator. But try to remember that when you need to come and shove your way into the room and stand right in front of the elevator, it's because there are too many people waiting. People who got there before you. DON'T BE THE FIRST ONE ON THE ELEVATOR. In other words, don't be a douche.
Finally, when the doors finally open, and it's actually your turn to get on an elevator, try to restrain yourself from pushing past the people trying to get off. The elevator is not going to leave without you. The riders will exit, which will
People, don't be a douche.
But on to much more pressing matters. Is it pretty much just accepted at this point that Steve Carell is trying to climb up inside of Jim Carrey, or at least his career? Aside from the fact that he took on the sequel to Carrey's Bruce Almighty, he's clearly going for the guy-with-infantile-but-of-the-moment-sense-of-humor-proves-his-chops-through-touching-but-lighthearted-role-and-captures-all-demographics thing. Even the title Dan in Real Life figuratively evokes The Truman Show. But I'm trying to picture SC in a role as heartbreaking as Carrey's in Eternal Sunshine, and I can't get there. Probably I would have said the same thing about Jim Carrey at the time, but all I keep seeing is Brick Tamland's vacant, constipated expression. And you know what? That's timeless. I don't still find The Mask funny, but I bet Anchorman's sense of humor will stand the test of time. So what I'm saying, Steve, is don't make any poor decisions. Well, any poorer than you already have.
Too many italics in that last graph. Tired fingers. Ciao.
3 comments:
I tend to think you're misinterpreting the first instance of what seems to be bad elevator etiquette. Rather than thinking one is already standing in front of the elevator but has not pushed the button, I'd say one of two other things are going on, both of which are social in origin rather than practical. I'd say pushing the button when someone is already waiting can be a sort of signal meaning "Yes, I'm waiting for the elevator too, I'm not just standing here to be creepy." True, this is probably unnecessary, but we've become so weird about our personal space as a society (thus part of the cause of problem #3) and about people standing near us for unknown reasons that this kind of sign is often thought necessary. Alternatively, pushing the already pushed button could have the same cause as pushing the button twice or the door close button inside the elevator: one is uncomfortable being this close to people one doesn't know, and that elevator should come now dammit! (Of course pushing the button again doesn't actually make anything happen faster, as we all know, but that's another subject.) I would say this first violation doesn't actually make you a douche so much as a little awkward. The other two do make you a douche. But good luck about doing anything about them, especially the second one in the HCW portico (good word). Most people are just douches. But I love them. -A
I'm sad to have my first comment on your blog be one of disagreement, but: after 4.5 years of watching people come into the elevator lobby and then stand right next to the entrance or maybe (maybe!) stepping forward oh-so-slightly into the center of the room, so that after two minutes there is a stack of people standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORS, with more people standing in the open doorway and outside the door while meanwhile there is a ton of space over on the other side of the lobby yet no one moves at all, ever, as if once you have staked a claim as to where you are standing in that lobby you could never possibly move in any direction (it's WORSE than the people who won't move to stand in the back of the bus. WORSE, I tell you! Because there is no bus driver forcing people to move.), I have reached my limit, and I now proudly march to the far side of the room and stand near the door and then walk into the elevator first. If people cannot figure out how to move further into a room to make more space, they do not deserve to get on the elevator first.
Haha. Gwen, I can so see my version of the same rage morphing into your version. Just give it time.
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